- 08:26 netbugadvertising.com/DennisFMaloney
Net Bug new video site where you get paid to watch a video. Opens July 4 #
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- 11:14 Don’t judge a book by its movie. #
- 11:15 With a calendar, your days are numbered. #
- 11:17 Why are they called "hemorrhoids". They should be called "asteroids"? #
- 11:20 Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! #
- 11:21 A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. #
- 11:22 The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. #
- 11:24 Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have #
- 11:26 I started out with nothing & still have most of it left #
- 11:27 I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. #
- 11:28 Does your train of thought have a caboose? #
- 11:29 A PBS mind in an MTV world. #
- 11:30 Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them #
- 11:31 Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. #
- 11:32 Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet. #
- 11:35 @StopChronicPain Thank you for the RT #
- 11:35 Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong. #
- 11:37 @drtutt Thank you drtutt #
- 11:38 Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. #
- 11:40 My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance #
- 11:42 A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. #
- 11:45 Have a good day or night where ever you live. #
- 11:47 @chrisohare @AnneG33 @PaperCakes @StopChronicPain @drtutt @OwenGreaves Thank you #
- 11:47 No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. #
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- 20:10 "Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house."
– Rod Stewart # - 20:25 Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were. #
- 20:26 I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila. #
- 20:28 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. #
- 20:29 When in doubt, mumble. #
- 20:30 A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. #
- 20:31 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen. #
- 20:32 We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. #
- 20:33 Hallmark Card: "I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here." #
- 20:38 When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. #
- 20:39 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. #
- 20:41 @RanchoVibe Thank you for the Rt #
- 20:46 Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. #
- 20:48 Just when you think you’ve hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel. #
- 20:49 For Sale: Wedding dress, size 12, worn once by mistake. #
- 20:50 For Sale: One computer slightly used. One bullet hole in screen. #
- 20:51 "It is better to have loved a short man, than never to have loved a tall." #
- 20:53 @nsbrwttt I am a x trucker #
- 20:53 It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them. # - 20:56 Ok good night. One more
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. #
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- 14:28 Your church or school need funds no cost have a look bit.ly/nkHrm #
- 14:34 @wpstudios Thank you for the RT #
- 14:34 Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.
Richard L. Evans #
- 14:40 I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty, than those attending too small a degree of it./Thomas Jefferson #
- 14:41 There has never been a good war or a bad peace.
-Benjamin Franklin #
- 14:41 Where knowledge ends, religion begins.
-Benjamin Disraeli #
- 14:54 Chinese Proverb
Man is the head of the family, woman the neck that turns the head. # - 19:48 Here is a good place to learn internet marketing for free its called warrior forum
bit.ly/aDO83 # - 19:51 Here is 100 twitter tools and what they do bit.ly/FhdVt #
- 19:53 Your church or school need funds no cost have a look bit.ly/nkHrm #
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- 19:48 A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
Will Rogers # - 19:49 A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
Will Rogers # - 19:50 Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
Will Rogers # - 19:51 Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Will Rogers # - 19:53 When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. #
- 19:54 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. #
- 19:55 Just think, if it wasn’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. #
- 19:56 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep. #
- 19:57 Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no. # - 20:08 I Do Whatever My
Rice Krispies
Tell Me To # - 20:11 I don’t suffer from stress.
I’m a carrier. # - 20:11 If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. #
- 20:12 If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 #
- 20:13 If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. #
- 20:14 If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you
want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. # - 20:15 If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice
will tell you which number to press. # - 20:16 If you are anal-retentive, please hold. #
- 20:17 If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random. #
- 20:18 Someday we’ll look back on all
this and plow into a parked car. # - 20:20 PARANOIA
- Santa Claus is Coming
To Get Me. # - 20:21 Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? #
- 20:22 Patient: Doctor, I’m manic-depressive. Psychiatrist: Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm… etc. #
- 20:23 Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality. Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair. #
- 20:24 Psychiatrist to his nurse:
"Just say we’re very busy. Don’t keep saying ‘It’s a madhouse.’" #
- 20:33 @Hanosandy @mentor2mentor Thank s #
- 20:34 @LilPecan You should see my bill #
- 20:43 @fontenot619 Thank you, there are so many the one’s i don’t post keep me tears #
- 20:44 @WebTrafficROI That is very true #
- 20:44 off to Warrior forum good night everyone #
- 20:48 @chrisbrogan buzzzzzzzzzzz #
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- 14:41 Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
Jim Fiebig #
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- 16:35 @fontenot619 Thank you #
- 16:42 Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks #
- 16:44 Never mess up an apology with an excuse. #
- 16:45 Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle. #
- 16:49 "Artist seeks Boss with vision impairment." #
- 16:50 2 rules to success in life. 1. Don’t tell people everything you know. #
- 16:52 @missusMSP I’ll just take a sip #
- 16:53 A Shower is the halfway point between Bed and World. #
- 16:56 No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. #
- 17:01 Small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
nurse said, ‘No change yet.’ # - 17:07 Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. #
- 17:08 Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. #
- 17:11 Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. #
- 17:13 Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. #
- 17:14 @ConfettiDreams Very true #
- 17:21 Have a great day everyone #
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- 17:24 @nsbrwttt Yes Steven Wright is good. Thank you #
- 17:26 A girl phoned me the other day and said… Come on over, there’s nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield # - 17:44 F U Cn Rd Ths U Cnt Spl Wrth A Dm! #
- 17:47 I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice. #
- 17:49 There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. #
- 17:50 I’m just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious. #
- 17:54 What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield # - 17:55 I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back! #
- 18:00 My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. #
- 18:02 This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me #
- 18:05 Ok good night all #
- 18:07 @RanchoVibe @SkinCareDoc Thank for the RT #
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- 10:00 I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. #
- 10:02 I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. #
- 10:04 I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap./Rodney Dangerfield #
- 10:06 I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No one drag is enough."/Rodney Dangerfield #
- 10:07 I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. #
- 10:12 My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear. #
- 10:16 With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff./Rodney Dangerfield #
- 10:20 I like to reminisce with people I don’t know. #
- 10:25 “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- Dr Wayne Dyer # - 10:26 “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting”
- Elizabeth Bibesco # - 10:27 “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
- B. Olatunji # - 10:33 Extraordinary: it is the "extra" that make us more than ordinary. #
- 10:37 @KendraBrodin @lofolulu @funnyoneliners Thank you for the RT #
- 10:39 Failure is no more fatal than success is permanent. #
- 10:47 Everyone leaves footprints in you memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will truly remember. #
- 10:49 Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength. #
- 10:57 If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." — Winnie the Pooh #
- 11:02 Have a great day everyone. #
- 11:04 A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. #
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