- 05:02 In my experience, there is only one motivation, and that is desire. No reasons or principle contain it or stand against it. #
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Archive for April, 2009
- 07:24 How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path./shopgbg.com/wealth.aspx?ID=dennisfmaloney # - 07:27 What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids. shopgbg.com/dennisfmaloney # - 07:30 A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
shopgbg.com/dennisfm… # - 07:37 "Beam me aboard, Scotty!" "Will a 2X4 do, Captain?" #
- 07:39 24 hours in a day…24 beers in a case…coincidence? #
- 07:44 The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. #
- 07:46 Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes. #
- 07:48 Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway. #
- 07:52 National Atheist’s Day April 1st #
- 07:54 IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
shopgbg.com/dennisfmaloney # - 08:08 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? #
- 08:10 Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks #
- 08:14 @AnneG33 True #
- 08:15 Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk? #
- 08:17 Multitasking means screwing up several things at once. #
- 08:21 What my wife said to me the other day.You are depriving some poor village of its idiot. Love is grand. #
- 08:24 You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! #
- 08:27 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. shopgbg.com/dennisfmaloney #
- 08:31 Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? #
- 08:34 Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. #
- 08:35 Another name for a Microsoft Windows tutorial is ‘Crash Course’! #
- 08:38 Lloyd’s of London began as Edward Lloyd’s coffeehouse. #
- 08:40 @stewkelly Um ok #
- 08:41 Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives that they save. #
- 08:42 Fifteen people are known to have been crushed to death tilting vending machines towards them in the hope of a free can of soda. #
- 08:44 Louisa Adams, wife of John Quincy Adams, was the first and only foreign-born first lady. #
- 08:45 One of the largest carriers of hepitius B is diner mints. #
- 08:47 Some large clouds store enough water for 500000 showers #
- 08:52 The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. #
- 08:53 The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world #
- 08:55 The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. #
- 08:58 Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? #
- 08:59 Alabama
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church #
- 09:00 Arkansas
It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas #
- 09:02 Connecticut
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands. #
- 09:04 Idaho
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime. #
- 09:05 Illinois
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
more Illinois laws # - 09:07 Kentucky
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." #
- 09:09 Nevada
It’s still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property. #
- 09:11 Maine
You may not step out of a plane in flight. #
- 09:14 Everyone have a great day everyone. Got to make my wife breakfast.I lost a bet #
- 09:23 @JulienSharp Thank you #
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- 05:33 "Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises."
- Demosthenes # - 05:41 tinyurl.com/9oee5u If you need a boat load of cash #
- 05:44 "A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds."
- Francis Bacon, Sr./ tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 05:52 Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation./ tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 05:54 Sympathy sees and says, "I’m sorry."Compassion sees and says, "I’ll help.". tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 05:58 The fellow who is fired with enthusiasm for his work is seldom fired by his boss. tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:02 @StevenHudson Your right lol #
- 06:04 The foundation of relationships is based on the premise of mutual purpose. tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:07 The great lie of the news media: "I am the public". tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:09 The horn of plenty is usually the one behind you in traffic! tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:13 The idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:15 The Iron Rule: Don’t do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn’t do for themselves. tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:19 Key to happiness, not fixing your problems but changing your attitude towards your problems.tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:23 The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population. tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:27 The lesson is what you read in the fine print.The experience is what you get when you don’t.tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:29 The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay.Love isn’t love till you give it away.
.tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:33 The measure of a man is not the number of servants he has, but the number of people he serves. .tinyurl.com/9oee5u #
- 06:35 The memory of bad quality lasts longer than the shock of high prices.
.tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:37 The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:40 The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
. tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:43 The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:48 If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:49 Jesus accepts you the way you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way. #
- 06:51 Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough. #
- 06:53 To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:57 Truth is the most powerful force on earth because it cannot be changed.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 06:58 When you are standing on the edge of a cliff a step forward is not progress.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 07:01 He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 07:05 I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4 today.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 07:07 I have learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. #
- 07:10 The ad in the paper said ‘Big Sale. Last Week.’ Why advertise? I already missed it. They’re just rubbing it in. #
- 07:13 I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. #
- 07:15 The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. #
- 07:17 When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. #
- 07:19 Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. H Simpson #
- 07:20 What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
‘Hold my purse.’ # - 07:22 Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest. # - 07:24 @ACohenDC YES it is lol #
- 07:25 Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. #
- 07:28 @spygun I like it. lol #
- 07:29 If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way. #
- 07:31 The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
tinyurl.com/9oee5u # - 07:33 Have a great day or night everyone. #
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